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My take on Self-Injury
Self-injury can come in many forms and includes cutting oneself with razors or knives, burning oneself with cigarettes or matches, pulling out clumps of hair and picking at oneself (especially the...
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BPD and Lying – again…
I believe there are several basic motivations to lie when you have BPD. There are also two types of lies: by admission (by telling) and by omission (by not telling). Both types are a problem with...
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Paranoia, Shame and Judgment Sensitivity
My wife has recently been really paranoid that the local moms don’t like her. She thinks that since they will sometimes not let their children come over to our house and play with my son that it means...
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Why Hope is Not Enough
A comment on the title of my book, When Hope is Not Enough. I’ve had several people say the book is perfectly titled and others say they don’t like the title. I decided to title it that because I...
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Self-injury Report
From the blog of “Random Thoughts of Self” I found a link to a British Study of Self-Harm called “Truth Hurts.” I also found a nice little image and blurb on the left side of that blog. The blurb said:...
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Kurt Cobain and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
After learning about BPD and reading a biography of Kurt Cobain, I suspect that, if he was not a borderline, he suffered from a similar disorder. So, here is a detailed analysis of the case for Kurt...
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David Foster Wallace and Toxic Self-Consciousness
It was extremely sad to see that David Foster Wallace killed himself last month. He was a talented writer and an excellent observer of the human condition. Apparently, he suffered from major depression...
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The strange case of Ashley Todd
When I saw the backward-carved “B” in Ashley Todd’s face last week, I couldn’t help but think about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). And one Mental Health professional actually came out and said...
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More on Hoovering
Yesterday, I received a long and thoughtful comment about my post The Myth Of Hoovering. I wanted to respond to it, because I believe that the commenter actually misunderstood my point about hoovering...
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Ian Curtis and BPD (or another disorder)
Rarely do you find an individual artist who expresses his/her emotions and pain as clearly as did Ian Curits. He was the lead singer and song writer for the band Joy Division. In May of 1980, two days...
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Why Shame is Corrosive in a BP/Non-BP relationship
This is my response to someone who asked why shame is corrosive in a BP/Non-BP relationship… Shame is corrosive to a relationship because it keeps the BP or NP in “pretend mode” where they are behaving...
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Lindsay Lohan and BPD (maybe but not for sure)
OK readers, now is the time to revisit Lindsay (I think I was spelling her first name wrong for a while there) Lohan and possible BPD. She has all of the classic signs of the disorder. I was struck by...
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Marriage Problems and Authentic Self
Today I was reading the Psychology Today blog of Dr. Steven Stosny, called the “Anger in the Age of Entitlement” blog. Here is a nice article that married people (BP, Non-BP and others) should read:...
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Fear and Shame
Fear and ShameToday, I figured I would discuss fear and shame. Not many people realize the impact that these two emotions have on people’s behavior. I believe that most of the “controlling” behavior in...
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On My Side
Are you and your BP on the same team?I often hear people with BPD/ERD say that they feel that their loved ones are “not on my side” or that the loved ones are “supposed to be on my side.” This phrase...
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Shame and BPD
In researching the implications of shame in BPD, I found this research study: Shame and Implicit Self-Concept in Women With Borderline Personality Disorder * Nicolas Rüsch, M.D., Klaus Lieb, M.D., Ines...
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BPD, Self-Regulation and Others
Ok, after posting about book sales recently and stuff like that, now it’s time for a much more substantive post about BPD. Today, I plan to talk about self-regulation and a new study that points out an...
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A Preoccupation with Interpersonal Relationships
This feature is a new one that I have added to my “model” of BPD. I added it because I was attending the International Society for the Study of Personality Disorders (ISSPD) and listened to Dr. John...
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5th Anniversary of ATSTP List and Some Support for Non-BPDs
Today is the 5th anniversary of the Anything to Stop the Pain support list. After over 50,000 messages and 600+ members, it is still going strong. The ATSTP list is offered for free to non-BPDs. In...
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Ask Bon: Why does my borderline rage at me?
Rage burns and burns In the support groups, rage is one of the most talked about aspects of BPD. Why? Because it is one of the most difficult for the Non-BPD to endure. Many people ask themselves, why...
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Ask Bon: Why does my loved one with BPD fear judgment so much?
Judgment Hurts those with BPD A person with BPD fears judgment almost to the point of being allergic to it. She is extremely sensitive to judgment from other people, even if that judgment is merely...
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A Comment on my Blog that needs promoting
A while back I received a comment on the article Four Reasons Bipolar is Accepted and Borderline Personality Disorder is Not that was apparently re-posted on a forum for people with BPD. It turns out...
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Listening to Shame
Shame is an unspoken epidemic, the secret behind many forms of broken behavior. Brené Brown, whose earlier talk on vulnerability became a viral hit, explores what can happen when people confront their...
View ArticleMental illness shouldn’t be a dirty secret
The real issue I had was with the judgement from people. Not because they were trying to be cruel, but because they genuinely did not understand. Mental illness shouldn’t be a dirty secret by NAME...
View ArticleWhy Aren’t There More Resources for Adult Self-Injurers?
Even getting adults to commit to group therapy can be a challenge. Adults are burdened with more responsibility than adolescents and may have trouble finding the time and effort to make the commitment...
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